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Finding out your partner's been emotionally canoodling with someone else makes you think, " The big red flag is the secrecy.
Emotional cheating is about breaking trust with your spouse, not having sex with someone else," she adds.
"The person may suddenly feel as though she doesn't know her partner." If you've made a strong emotional connection with someone else, with or without sex, it can be very painful for your spouse.
Also, "emotional affairs can lead to physical infidelity," which only makes the deception worse and the disentanglement harder. "Don't respond to calls and e-mails as often while you disengage from this person." Should you fess up? The bigger deal you make of it, the harder it'll be on your spouse.
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But you do have to nip the relationship in the bud.
If you think you can shift the extramarital relationship back to something more innocent, you're probably wrong, says Vaughan.
Unfortunately, no matter what your heart says, you must hold back a bit for your own good.
Here are Rules to help you be light and breezy in your e-mails: It all sounds good on paper, but you cannot write “soul mate” and think you will get one that way.
This is a time when cold turkey is best, she recommends.